I really appreciate everyone’s kind comments and support. The breakup thing just sucks. I was in the angry place for the past month and that’s giving way to the sad place. I’m finally starting to grieve it. I am reminded of a Sex and the City episode from Season 1. Charlotte says it takes half as long as the time you dated to really get over the relationship. Well, we were together for 2 years, so I guess I have a year to get my head back on straight again.
So what does one do in that year? What do we do to pass the time? I’ve decided to get back in shape. I used to be in phenominal condition. I even worked out with my trainer friends at Golds Gym. Indeed, a big part of the conflict in my previous relationship was that I was really unhappy with my physical condition and appearance and wanted to work on that. He did not want to allow me adequate time or space for proper exercise. And I mean to tell you, it was a BIG problem. He had no use for working out and got pretty miffed if I took time away from him to do so. He hated that I would get up at 5AM to work out because that meant I needed to go to bed sooner. I’ve never met a man that DIDN’T want his girl to work out.
So I’m training myself as much and as hard as I am currently able. It feels good to see strength gains and endurance improvements. However, after 5 whole weeks of working out 5 or 6 days a week for a minimum of 75 minutes, I saw zero change. I know this because my job has a health coach we can see once a month. She comes to campus and weighs, does site measurements and calculates body fat. I had zero change. This was really disappointing. So I had to accept the dieting part of the equation is necessary. I dug out my Weight Watchers stuff and put myself back on the Points program. I am not thrilled about this. For those of you who don’t know, Weight Watchers is a meager, strict diet. But, it does work. And it’s considered safe. This bullshit tagline of “Stop Dieting and Start Living” is so ridiculous. It’s absolutely a diet, but that’s reality in world filled with so many temptations. It’s so disappointing to realize how little we actually need. Even with the long, arduous workouts, I’m still only allowed about 32 to 35 point a day which is about 1500 calories. If I don’t work out then I’m down to 22 points which is about 1100 calories. Food diaries start making me feel obsessive, but there’s no other alternative. If I don’t write it down and watch it, I’m going to over eat. I just love food!!!!!! I don’t eat junk and I certainly don’t eat fast foods. I’m so careful about it. But, whole foods are calorie heavy and you really have to watch it. So, I’m sweating and starving. But I’m determined!
I really do live in a small town. Honestly. We have one stoplight. One stop light and and a dozen fattening restaurants. The next closest town was recently voted as the 8th fattest in the nation. I moved from a top ten fittest to a top ten fattest. It is like moving to Mars!!!!!!!! Gyms are not plentiful and what’s available is either dirty and over crowded or totally inadequate. It’s sad. This is why it’s such a fat area. I’m considered pretty overweight right now, 30 pounds above ideal, and I look like I’m svelte compared to most of these women. Being a fit person in a small town like this really does make one feel like an outsider. Exercise just is not at the top of the list.
So what am I doing about it? I have a very nice space in my basement that I have for a workout room. I had purchased an Octane Elliptical about 5 years ago and it came with me in the move. When I got into the house I bought a Life Fitness treadmill. My next piece will be a spin bike. I firmly believe you must have professional grade gear, at least one piece, at home. It is expensive, but it’s an investment in your health. I’ve collected different dumb bells and kettle bells and things over the last few years. My most recent purchase was a Suzanne Somers over the door resistance band exerciser. I love her, and like this newest piece. I swear by exercise videos. I have a bunch and rotate them around. I just dug out my Tony Horton Power 90 this week. I forgot how hard that is!!!!!!!!!! I’d like to get myself conditioned enough to do his PX90, but that is a few months off! I get my videos from Collage Video. I also see things in Target, but by and large my source is Collage. Target has great dumb bells, yoga mats and other odds and ends. I really like just going downstairs and doing my workout before I shower for work. I have an iPod and rotate the music. Sometimes I watch TV shows. I’ve found Amazon has TV shows by the season on DVD used for really cheap. I’m watching the Sex and the City shows now. I just finished season 1 this morning. You must keep yourself entertained or it gets boring. So I switch up my tapes and music and so forth. But it’s still all about the sweating. If you’re out there sweating and starving too, consider this a place to vent and get some support. We Shiksa’s need to stick together.
Final note: Is Chelsea Clinton not the most fabulous shiksa? She was truly lovely in her wedding gown. Congrats to super Shiksa Chelsea on her marriage and, of course, spectacular wedding.